Kareoke will never be a sober sport
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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