let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my being single is dangerous.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
