But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
