So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
