he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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