butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
