if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
