I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
