obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize