My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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