I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
