Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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