i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
