I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
