I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
