I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
