i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
