So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
