My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
