That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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