She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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