she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
