i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
