..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
