Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
