Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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