I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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