Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
