i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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