I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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