I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
