the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
