And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
