i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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