you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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