PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
