She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
