Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
