R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
