every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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