"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
