I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
