she looked like the bat from fern gully.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
