there was a trapeze. enough said
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
