Porn is love you can see.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
