Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My vagina is officially offended.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
