I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
