I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
