'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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