Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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