i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
