Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
