stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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