i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
