Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize