Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
