My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
