Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
